It's been awhile.

I haven't been on here in a long time and for that I apologize. I've been busy/lazy.

This week I'm in Kentucky at the National Missionary Convention. The speaker tonight really spoke to me. He talked about how we have opportunities to serve right now and how we need use those opportunities rather than wait until they've passed. This really hit home for me because I have watched opportunity after opportunity after opportunity get away from people...including myself. Lately I've been feeling distant from God. I think this weekend is going to start a change in my life. I'm praying that it will.

Speaking of praying....I've been praying a lot lately for friends. Not for my friends, but that I will get friends. I have "friends" but I want a "best" girl friend. I have Matthew and I love him. He will always be my best friend but I think I need a girl in my life that I can tell anything to and trust to hold me accountable. I've been feeling so lonely lately. I love the people in Columbus but it's so hard to have friends from school and work because I live so far away. All I can do is pray.....I sure hope it gets easier soon..

Love Dare - Day 5

Yesterday was a good day. I did my best to always put Matthew first and I went out of my way to ask him how the kids in the Youth Group are doing. I couldn't do the dare from yesterday because we spent all day together. I'll make an effort to do that on a day when I don't see him because I think it's something that could be really sweet and I'm looking forward to it!

Day 5 - Love is not rude.

I was curious what the real definition of the word "rude" was so I looked it up and here's what it said: "ill mannered; socially incorrect in behavior." I think I can be rude but I don't think people consider me a rude person. I don't like to see people act rudely towards others so I try to keep myself from doing anything that could hint at rudeness.

Day 5 Dare - Ask your spouse to tell you three things that cause him or her to be uncomfortable or irritated with you. You must do so without attacking them.

This will be a really hard challenge for me. Nobody like to be criticized, especially by their spouse. I am really nervous to ask him about it. There will be a right and a wrong way for me to begin to ask him. I'm hoping I can gain my composure and ask him in a calming voice so neither of us get too upset. We'll see how this goes! I may need prayer for todays challenge.

I Corinthians 13:5 "Love...is not rude."

Love Dare- Day 4

Yesterday was the easiest day so far for me. I love buying Matthew things! I love seeing the look of surprise on his face when he opens a present or when he sees what I bought him. Because of my lack of money, I couldn't go all out yesterday and buy him something extravagant but I did buy him his favourite drink from sonic last night and I think it meant something to him because he was appreciative that I went out of my way to get him something.

Day 4 - Love is thoughtful

Since we are still newlyweds, this dare should be easy. I think we are still at the point in our marriage where we think of each other all of the time. I'm always curious to know how Matthew is doing throughout the day and whenever I go to the store without him, I ask if he needs anything.

Day 4 Dare - Contact your spouse sometime during the business of the day. Have no agenda other than asking how he or she is doing and if there is anything you could do for them.

It's going to be hard to do this challenge because we do spend a lot of time together. Maybe I can think of a way to ask him those questions while he's with me. I hope today will be as easy as I think it will be. We'll see.

Philippians 1:3 - I thank my God in all my remembrance of you.

Love Dare- Day 3

I couldn't write yesterday because of work and a trip to Branson so I'll start here where I left off....

Day 3 - Love is not selfish

Day 2 didn't go very well. I am a kind person but for some reason it was a harder challenge than I thought. I tried so hard to be kind but I was exhausted and didn't realize what I was saying until it was already said. I did "make" breakfast for Matthew. (I gave him cereal!) He was thankful but that's something that I do quite often. I'm going to try to do something kind for him today! Today I've been working on not being selfish and I'm succeeding so far! I hope I can keep it up!

Day 3 Dare - Along with restraining from negative comments, buy your spouse something that says, "I was thinking of you today."

This is going to be tough because I don't have extra money laying around. I may buy him his favourite drink from sonic on my way home. When I do have money, I'm going to buy him something special. I might do something sweet when I get off of work tonight to let him know that I was thinking of him. Maybe.

Love Dare - Day 2

Yesterday was a lot easier than I thought it was going to be and for that, I am thankful. I never realized how hard being patient was for me. The good news is that I went all day without ragging on Matthew about leaving the cabinets open or leaving the lights on. I just had to think about what I was doing and if I keep that up, I think our days will go by a lot smoother.

Day 2 - Love is kind - "Love makes you kind and kindness makes you likeable."

Today should be a pretty easy day for me if I keep yesterdays challenge in mind. I think that patience is a key factor of kindness. I'm going to have to hold my tongue today and think a lot about what I'm doing and saying.

Day 2 Dare - In addition to saying nothing negative to your spouse today, do at least one unexpected gesture as an act of kindness.

I can think of a few things that I can do for today. I can lay out his outfit for today or I can make him breakfast. I could also do something that shouldn't be hard. I could tell him how much I appreciate him or I could encourage him in his Youth Ministry. I think today could be a really fun day and I hope it is.

Acts 20:35 "It is more blessed to give than to receive."

Love Dare - Day 1

Today, I'm beginning the 40 days of the Love Dare from the movie Fireproof. I'm going to start this week and make a huge effort to write something everyday. I think that the Love Dare Challenge will be a great, but difficult, way to improve my relationship with my husband.

Day 1 - Love is Patient - "Love will inspire you to become a patient person"

When I read this, the Fruit of the Spirit came to mind. Love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. These aren't only part of who we are, but they are what should create the foundation of our marriages. Patience is something that will help you learn from your mistakes because it helps you to slow down and think before you speak.

Day 1 Dare - Resolve to demonstrate patience and to say nothing negative to your spouse at all.

I know that this will be a hard day for me because patience is not one of my better qualities. There's something I know I will already get upset at today. Matthew has a tendency to leave cabinets open. I know this is something small and should be easy for me to get over, but it's so frustrating. Today I'm going to try not to worry about it and just close the cabinets for him without making a big deal about it. I'm also going to try to think before I talk because sometimes I don't and I know it's disrespectful to him. I found a great quote from the book that sums this all up. "Patience helps you give your spouse permission to be human."

I'm really looking forward to this challenge and I think Matthew will start to really appreciate my effort without even knowing about it.

Proverbs 19:11 - A man's wisdom gives him patience; it is to his glory to overlook an offense.

only the beginning...

I've never been a person who liked blogging or journaling but I've heard that it's a good thing to make a habit of so here goes nothing...

Memorial day is coming up and even though I don't have any family or friends who have died for our country to remember, it doesn't stop me from remembering a few close friends who have died recently. I think about death a lot because of the people I've lost and I'm not sure if that's a good or bad thing. I think it'd be a good thing to remember these people because they were with me once and I loved having them around. I know it could be a bad thing though because I think about death and dying a lot and I know that it's not a healthy thing to always think about.

The person I think about most is a friend I lost in October 2008. Nicole wasn't my best friend and probably wasn't even one of my good friends but we got along. When she died, I couldn't stop thinking about how she died and how young she was. I know a lot of people were thinking "How could God take her away at such a young age?" I think that's a fair question to ask when you're in mourning, but I don't think it's right to question God. I personally don't think God has a set plan for the death of anybody. I think that if something happens, like a car wreck, he just lets it happen. He doesn't want death for anybody so why would he plan a death or plan a date for someone to die?

Tonight, Matthew and I are taking the kids from the Youth Group out to a cemetery to put flags out for the Veterans. It will be a hard evening for me because my mind always wanders and I always think about what Nicole, and everyone else, looks like right now. I hate it. But the good news is that she's up in Heaven with her mom right now and she couldn't be more happy!

I'm going to try to put a Bible Verse in all of my blogs because God's Word is important and I think the Bible is what keeps people going day to day.

Psalm 46:10 "Be still and know that I am God"